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bladeinthecrowd
Apr. 17th, 2008 12:24 amGod I don't understand men at all.
And what's sad? I think I'm in love with him. But our lives are far too different. I keep telling myself that. But my blasted heart won't listen to what my mind knows.
It should hurt me so much more than it does. It's like shoving my hand in an open fire and not getting burned. I don't understand myself anymore. I wanted to forget about men and just work on my studies but I can't forget him. I feel like I might freeze if I don't spend some time with him.
But we're far too different. I'm just going to end up getting hurt.
I think I’ll keep up with this anyways. I think it’s too late to just walk away from him. It would be selfish of me to. God only knows how much I don’t want to hurt him. And I’m not even very religious.
And what's sad? I think I'm in love with him. But our lives are far too different. I keep telling myself that. But my blasted heart won't listen to what my mind knows.
It should hurt me so much more than it does. It's like shoving my hand in an open fire and not getting burned. I don't understand myself anymore. I wanted to forget about men and just work on my studies but I can't forget him. I feel like I might freeze if I don't spend some time with him.
But we're far too different. I'm just going to end up getting hurt.
I think I’ll keep up with this anyways. I think it’s too late to just walk away from him. It would be selfish of me to. God only knows how much I don’t want to hurt him. And I’m not even very religious.
FUCKING Hell
Sep. 10th, 2007 10:15 pmFrom the desk of Ivy Weaver
Today I went to court. I did my duty and all that. It should have gone well. There should have been a trial and I should have gotten to testify against Henrich. Only I didn't.
There was a mob hit before he arrived at the court. Cassamento wanted him dead, I guess. Or there's someone else who wants him dead. his just leaves me very angry. I wanted Henrich to pay for his crimes.
I suspect he had been behind my old apartment being bombed too. I had even heard rumors that what had happened to me earlier had been arranged to force my Uncle into giving up the files. It disgusts me such men exist But that only pushes my resolve to become a good lawyer. One day I'll put all of these men away.
Today I went to court. I did my duty and all that. It should have gone well. There should have been a trial and I should have gotten to testify against Henrich. Only I didn't.
There was a mob hit before he arrived at the court. Cassamento wanted him dead, I guess. Or there's someone else who wants him dead. his just leaves me very angry. I wanted Henrich to pay for his crimes.
I suspect he had been behind my old apartment being bombed too. I had even heard rumors that what had happened to me earlier had been arranged to force my Uncle into giving up the files. It disgusts me such men exist But that only pushes my resolve to become a good lawyer. One day I'll put all of these men away.
Well today I found a strange place called the Nexus.
I got some advice there. Lots of it good. I also gave some.
I also dscovered that Batman is real. So Gotham really does have a hero. It makes me happy. But it also brought out alot of hurt. It reminded me of Sheryl my old roommate from when I first came to Gotham. She was such a good friend and person.
God damn Joker. I really hate all of thoes villans. These madmen of this city. They make everything hurt. And I hate feeling this way.
Anyways, Nightwing seems nice. But I don't think I'll move n with my Uncle. I don't think Nightwing understands how much I need to be able to make it on my own. If I wanted to I could let my family take care of me. But I don't.
So I'll do little things to keep my freedom. Like cut them off from me emotionaly for a year. No contacting them unless I need to for some important reason. I'll show them I can be my own person. That I can do all these things on my own.
They'll be proud of me.
Also. I need a dog. I need a dog to feel safer and have a compaion at home. I'll need to do a bit of research first. I don't want a massive dog that I can't handle on my own.
Oh. And also? Must learn how to cook more food. Eating ramen all the time might make me fat or something. This may be difficult due to lack of eyesight. Should look into a cooking class where they won't mind a totally blind chick. Could be fun.
I got some advice there. Lots of it good. I also gave some.
I also dscovered that Batman is real. So Gotham really does have a hero. It makes me happy. But it also brought out alot of hurt. It reminded me of Sheryl my old roommate from when I first came to Gotham. She was such a good friend and person.
God damn Joker. I really hate all of thoes villans. These madmen of this city. They make everything hurt. And I hate feeling this way.
Anyways, Nightwing seems nice. But I don't think I'll move n with my Uncle. I don't think Nightwing understands how much I need to be able to make it on my own. If I wanted to I could let my family take care of me. But I don't.
So I'll do little things to keep my freedom. Like cut them off from me emotionaly for a year. No contacting them unless I need to for some important reason. I'll show them I can be my own person. That I can do all these things on my own.
They'll be proud of me.
Also. I need a dog. I need a dog to feel safer and have a compaion at home. I'll need to do a bit of research first. I don't want a massive dog that I can't handle on my own.
Oh. And also? Must learn how to cook more food. Eating ramen all the time might make me fat or something. This may be difficult due to lack of eyesight. Should look into a cooking class where they won't mind a totally blind chick. Could be fun.
