Eldritch Pollen [for Altair]

[blindingtrust]

It isn't often Ivy uses her PINpoint to go home from the Sanctuary. But she had a really good reason. To change into something a little more showy. It was a nice dress that a friend had talked her into buying.

Poor Altair would never know what hit him. It had more color than anything else Ivy owned. And showed a good amount of her legs too, didn't help Ivy was wearing matching shoes and waiting for the chance to say hello to Altair. He might find it unusal for Ivy to be wearing red.

It would just look odd seeing as she's not a flashy dresser and red is well, eye catching.

Comments

[bladeinthecrowd.livejournal.com]

Altaїr followed Ivy to the couch like a little puppy. He quite frankly didn't know what else to do. He watched as she curled up into herself and the pang of guilt wrenched harder on his heart.

With a small sigh, Altaїr turned around and glared at the sky. He looked down briefly, then over his shoulder, and finally backed himself up until his legs touched the couch and fell down on it. He sat there idly, trying not to shift around. Still his fingers drummed an indeterminable beat on his leg.

He glanced at ivy through the corner of his eyes every so often, but otherwise felt and looked as awkward as could be.

[blindingtrust.livejournal.com]

Ivy listened silently. Then got up and pulled her cane with her. She had to say this. Because she planned to be a lawyer. That meant baring her thoughts and belives in front of a court room on the facts. On cold hard evidence.

This was different. It was her feelings for him and her fears. What if he couldn't deal with it? She could never tell him everything about herself. But she had to be honest about what she felt. And hope he didn't leave because she needed him to understand. She wouldn't cry over this either. He needed to know she was risking her tightly bound together feelings by letting him know he had...gotten o her. Somehow he had gotten to her in a way that wasn't just attraction.

"I don't like it when you push me away like that. You can't possibly be ashamed of me. I haven't done anything wrong. It's these....feelings. Whatever it is between us. It maddening because we cann't have what we want. You want things to be simple. Easy. I'd love to be able to keep hiding. But I can't. You keep getting under my skin. And I don't know what I want anymore. It's like gravity or something and...I'm afrad you're just goig to push me away. Because I know it will crush me more than anything else."

It would. When he had pulled back it had hurt more than it should. Maybe he would understand what she was trying to tell him now.

[bladeinthecrowd.livejournal.com]

Altaїr listened quietly. His first reaction was a frown, and he stared down thoughtfully at his feet for a long moment. "I didn't..." but he can't finish the sentence. One way or another, she was right. He smirked. "I had to breath," he wanted to say, but gagged on the words instead. Sarcasm wasn't helpful.

He remained that way for a while before he finally looked up into her sightless eyes. "It's not... what I meant to do." He finally choked out. "I don't know what to make of any of this. And you're... so different. I can't even decide whether that's what I like so much, or if it's what alienates me from you." He paused thoughtfully. "I suppose it would be simpler to end it before it began...." he trailed off and, unfortunately for Ivy, his thoughts spun around so much he never got around to finishing what he meant to say.

[blindingtrust.livejournal.com]

Ivy listened and tried being reasonable.

But she wants him. In her life.

"We come from very different places," she supplies.

"End it but..." Oh god that hurt. "Altair we haven't even really begun." She covers her mouth and leans forward. She will not cry.

If he isn't careful she might though.

[bladeinthecrowd.livejournal.com]

"That's what I said," he replied without hesitation. Then he looked up at her and noticed the emotions playing across her face. For all her wish of hiding, she wasn't really that good at it. Not to him anyway.

He winced and glanced away quickly. "I know that. Maybe it's better that way," but even as he said the words he regretted them. He sighed and closed his eyes. The action gave him a thought.

Altaїr stood up carefully and moved next to her. He kept his eyes closed as he reached for her, touching her face lightly. His fingers brushed lightly over her lips and hesitated. This was what he was afraid of--he knew what he wanted, but screamed the opposite in his head. He stood silently, unmoving.

[blindingtrust.livejournal.com]

Ivy couldn't help it. She had wanted him to see and so her body let him see.

When he said that though a few tears spilled dow. She blinked trying to force them to stay where he wouldn't see them. It didn't work.

Then he just had to touch her. Get gut clenched. Something low inside her clenched too. This was confusing and maddening. Finally she decides to damn it all and kiss him again. Because clearly he can't do it on his own.

[bladeinthecrowd.livejournal.com]

No, he can't. And although he starts to pull away again, mostly from startlement, he forces himself still and let's her have her way. It just seems easier that way.

And it doesn't hurt her. That was the important part.

After a moment his hand moves though, brushing across her cheek. He notices the tear this way. He flinches, an action she can feel throughout his body. He wipes it away gently and then digs his hand deep into her hair as if he'll never let go.

[blindingtrust.livejournal.com]

Ivy broke the kiss this time. She had no idea what to do. He knew she had cried just a little. It didn't seem right to keep kissing him.

Not whn hr knew he had hurt her feelings, even if briefly. "Sometimes," she mombles. "I wish you'd act on what you want. I always act on what I want. It almost doesn't seem fair to you."